I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Text me some of your sweat
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
