if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
