i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
