He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
