So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
