I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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