A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
