I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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