i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
