So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
