just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
