You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
