Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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