Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
