im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
