I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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