We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
