i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
