i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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