The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
