I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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