Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
