STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
4 words: hood of his car
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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