I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
