Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
