People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
