Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
