Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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