Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
