i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
