It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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