I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
