i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
