Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
