I just cut my nipple shaving
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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