How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
