he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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