Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
