VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
