i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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