you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
