I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
