I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
