yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I checked into jail on foursquare
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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