you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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