I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
