tell your sister to shave her snatch
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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