if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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