So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
