She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
