Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
