His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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